


There's a boy that I like

by spendon



Category: P!ATD - Fandom
Genre: Brencer, M/M, Pining, Spendon, brief mention of zack and ryan, in which Brendon is a dummy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2054745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spendon/pseuds/spendon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'There's a boy that I like,' Brendon began typing, fingers moving swiftly over the keyboard, tapping the keys delicately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's a boy that I like

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bandom trash (fletchfeathers)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fletchfeathers/gifts).



_There's a boy that I like_ , Brendon began typing, fingers moving swiftly over the keyboard, tapping the keys delicately. He was on a gossip forum anonymously, the one where you posted about people you had crushes on. Of course, he had to sign up to post, but could always just use the incognito option to hide his identity.

  It was stupid, sure, but it relieved him - in some strange way. He was confessing, putting his heart out there.

  _He has these incredible blue eyes. Like, wow, I'd show you guys a picture, but I think you'd know who it is if I posted it. And who I am, too. Just imagine the most amazing, prettiest, bluest shade of blue._

_And his smile is something I don't think the world has enough words to describe. It gives me butterflies, and makes my heart do some weird flippy-floppy thing, this feeling just blooming inside my chest._

_His voice, too. It's like a thousand angels are singing when he talks. And I'm pretty sure his laugh cures cancer. I've seen compilations of it, to be honest, and I've listened to every single one. Thanks to whoever made those, btw._

  He stopped typing, taking a moment to hug the pillow of the couch he was sprawled out on, smiling into it. Brendon's cheeks were flushed a light pink as he giggled, thinking about his best friend, the man he'd spent so many years with, who he'd accidentally fallen in love with. He let go of the pillow, starting to type once more.

  _Only one of my friends knows about this, though. I seriously don't want you guys to know who I am, so I'll give everyone code names. Uhh, let's see, my friend is ToughGuy Z. He thinks I should tell my buddy that I like him, he says, "Go for it! Fuck what (codename:Mr.Eyeliner) thinks."_

_I'm afraid, though. What if he doesn't like me back? I don't want to lose him. We've been friends for what four? Five years now? I can't let my feelings destroy my friendship with him. ToughGuy Z thinks that I've been pining for way too long now._

_What about you guys?_

  With a shaky hand, he clicked post, waiting for any notifications to pop up. A couple did, so he refreshed the page, scanning over each comment.

_supergirl83: omgzz he sounds so cute. u should totally ask him out!! worth it_

_DonnaHadItComing: Who are you omg I wanna know now. Ask him!_

_blinkbackbones: DO IT_

_thatOneDude: i thnk i kno who this is lol_

  The last one made Brendon nervous, but he shook the feeling away. Surely lots of people had that one angelic, blue-eyed drummer in their life who they had an undying love for? When he refreshed again, he let out a sigh of relief to see that they had commented, ' _is this nate from math class lmfao_.'

  Watching more and more comments roll in, anxiety began creeping up the back of Brendon's neck. What was he going to do? So many people thought he should tell him - in fact, they all did. But was he really ready for this?

  And if he went through with it, how was he going to do it, anyways? Should he call him? Text him? Or maybe make a public post on the website and wait for the fanbase to tweet Spencer about it, if he himself didn't see it first. The confession possibilities seemed to never end.

  Brendon wondered why he even let things get this far in the first place. If he had just told him, straight up and direct, years ago, he wouldn't be in this mess of decisions and fear now. He sighed, frustrated at his dilemma, leaning his head into his hands as he sat up.

  After a few minutes of contemplating and thinking, he opened up a word document and began typing.

  _Hey, Spance,_

  Quickly he backspaced, changing Spance to Spence. He was so nervous that his hands were shaking, and he couldn't type right. Even though Spance was pretty funny...Heh.

  _Hey, Spence, I kinda wanna tell you something._

  He shook his head, deleting the entire sentence. He couldn't type any form of confession - not now, probably not ever. Closing his laptop, Brendon curled up on the couch, full-body hugging his throw pillow, desperately trying to sleep to put his mind at rest.

  Sleep didn't come so easily for him, however. His mind was clouded with worried thoughts, and ones of Spencer, too. He tried to think of different plans, other ways that he could tell Spencer how he really felt about him. Tomorrow could be the day his opportunity came, perhaps.

  He smiled to himself as he opened up his phone, deciding to text his friend. They could hang out tomorrow! Brendon would take him out to do something, like go bowling, or out for food, anything really. Then he would tell him, Spencer would be so touched that he would stand there in shock, and Brendon would kiss him.

  No, no, that's not how it would work. He had to find some other way to woo Spencer, make him swoon. He huffed, clicking on his contact to message him.

  _hey spence_ , He clicked send, watching the text go from 'Sending', to 'Delivered', to 'Read'. He eyed the bubble with three dots that signified Spencer was typing, waiting impatiently for his reply.

_Sup, Bren._

_nm hbu_

_Playing with Emma. She keeps licking my fingers._

_ew lol_

_Yeah._

_hey so do u wanna hang out tomorrow y or n_

_Definitely!_

  Brendon smiled out of accomplishment, typing quickly.

_so do u wanna get food or st we can have a picnic lol_

_Picnic sounds fun! At the park? (:_

_sure thing_

  He shut his phone off, closing his eyes again as he finally managed to drift into slumber, his mind at ease.

 

 

  Brendon woke up the next morning, the other three couch pillows scattered on the floor, the one he had been hugging moved up from being clutched tightly against his stomach to underneath his head. He stood up, arching his back in a stretch, cracking it as well as his fingers.

  He shook out his limbs, heading into the kitchen to make coffee. He loved coffee. In fact, he couldn't go a day without at least one absolutely necessary cup. Brendon didn't understand people who didn't drink, let alone like coffee. It was a blasphemy, an enigma to him.

  After his cup of coffee and breakfast consisting of only the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms cereal box, it was then that Brendon remembered his date, no, meet-up with Spencer in the park. They were having a picnic together, right!

  He smiled in excitement, then quickly frowned. Was it he or Spencer that was supposed to bring food? He should've worked that out with him last night, dammit. Brendon didn't even have that much food - he had cereal, milk, nectarines, ramen, some drinks, and sandwich ingredients. Maybe he could bring sandwiches...Spencer likes sandwiches, right? Duh, of course, who didn't like sandwiches? Sandwich-haters, that's who.

  So, of course, he used whatever he could to make them: Nutella, ham, chicken, cheese, peanut butter, jelly. Two of each, one for him, one for Spencer, and they had multiple choices to choose from. He grinned proudly after he finished, washing jelly, peanut butter, Nutella, and bits of meat off of his hands.

  Brendon spent a couple of minutes bagging the sandwiches, as well as two of the nectarines. He then realized he needed something to put them in. Why not just another, even bigger plastic bag? He was one damned, uncredited genius.

  He glanced at the clock for the time. Since he was definitely one who was late to wake up, it was almost noon by the time he was dressed in regular clothes. Or what he considered regular, at least. He put on the typical pair of skinny jeans and a white tank top, pushing his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose.

  Brendon grabbed his phone off of the dining table, sending Spencer a quick message.

_hey, spence, u wanna head over to the park now or l8r_

  Spencer took a while to reply, around ten minutes, but he didn't blame him. They all took a while to wake up, and though Spencer was the earliest riser, he had been texting him pretty late last night. Unless Spencer hadn't just woken up? Maybe he was doing something, like getting groceries, or showering.

  Brendon tried not to let his mind wander to thinking of Spencer in the shower, of his hair getting wet, the water dripping down his pale, perfect skin, how he probably sung to himself in that perfect, perfect voice...

  _'Fuck,'_ Brendon thought, snapping himself out of his thoughts and back into reality, looking down at his phone for Spencer's reply.

_We can go now. Meet you there or should I stop by?_

_ill meet u there_

  Brendon refused to see Spencer until they were at the park together. He had to plan how he would confess his own feelings, and hopefully win the other man’s heart. He pondered to himself how he would get there. If he walked, he would be most likely be held up by fans. Driving was ok, he supposed, but being in the park was just the same amount of risk as walking there.

  Snatching his keys off of the hook by the front door, he kicked on his shoes and walked out, sliding into the drivers seat from the passenger side. As soon as he turned on the radio, one of their songs came on, _When the Day Met the Night_. He sang along to it, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel to it's beat.

  To himself, Brendon wondered if Spencer ever did that. If he ever heard one of their songs, or any song in general, and felt the need to tap his fingers, match the rhythm, flow with it as easy as he usually would. This was something he thought about every day, really.

  When they hung out, there was a game Brendon secretly played. If they weren't doing anything, just looking at their phones or not talking, Brendon often would play music, eyes flying to Spencer's hands, to see if his fingers would dance across whatever surface was available. Most of the times, he would, bobbing his head gently and tapping his feet every now an then as well. Other times he would quickly wrinkle his nose, and either ask Brendon to change the song or simply do nothing about it in general.

  He always reacted quickly to the songs they'd written, even humming the melody - the melodies that Brendon,  _Brendon_ sang - to go with the beat. Brendon loved watching him, loved playing his little game, enjoying the sight of his best motherfucking friend so entranced in the music, so wrapped up in it, so happy to fucking hear it. The smile that would toy at his lips was breathtaking, Brendon thought absently.

  Brendon grinned, not even bothering to utter any words of frustration at the slowpoke driving in front of him. He was too busy listening to Spencer's voice in his memories.

 

 

The very moment he parked, the very fucking second Brendon stepped out of the car, he was swarmed - an exaggeration - by three teenagers: two girls and a boy who was with them, who looked rather miserable just standing there despite being in the very presence of the great, the amazing, Brendon Boyd Urie.

  Like usual, he took pictures with the girls. He couldn't help but notice people glancing their way with odd looks of confusion, or interested hawk eyes, carefully deciding whether or not to investigate. He was so engulfed in looking around that he hadn't even realized a fourth person approaching, but the very moment his voice rang in his ears, he couldn't help but grin wider.

  "Oh my gosh, Brendon Urie, I'm like, totes your biggest fan," Spencer's angel voice reached him through the cloud of strong love and three teenagers. He turned to face him, the teenagers quickly leaving, high-pitched giggles and chatter coming from them as they walked away from the two musicians. "Can you sign my shirt? And can I have your number? Here's mine, listen, it's -"

  Brendon cut him off with a hug and ruffle of his combed hair, messing it up deliberately. "Hiya, Spence," he said, pulling away, despite the want not to pounding in his chest, his head, tingling in his arms. "I made sandwiches." He quickly ducked his head into the car, pulling out the bag, with even more, smaller bags. "And brought nectarines, because peaches are fuzzy and weird. Like your stubble."

  "Hey, my stubble is not weird," Spencer faked a frown, a chuckle rumbling low in his throat. He neared his hand towards Brendon's, reaching for the bag to look inside, but Brendon quickly slapped his hand away.

  "No peeking," he declared, although really he just didn't want Spencer to touch his hand. Fuck, wait, yes he did. Brendon wanted to hold his hand so badly, he should have let him, it would've been so romantic.

  Wait, _what_? No it wouldn't! He was just trying to take the bag, not his hand. Even if Brendon wanted to grab his hand right then and there, now was not the time to announce his feelings. Especially by the park gate, where everyone in and out of the park could see them.

  His mind distracted him with the thought of what it would be like, holding Spencer's hand. Now, he had felt them, sure, but that was only for a high-five, or to inspect the callouses that had turned into raw cuts, blood welling up at the skin, and bandage them up. Maybe, if not for the roughness from drumming, his hands were really soft and smooth.

  "Bren," Spencer's voice interrupted his thoughts, his blue eyes glimmering in the sunlight. "C'mon, I'm starting to get hungry and you refuse to let me so much as even look inside that bag. Let's gooooooooo."

  "Right, yeah," he nodded, clutching the plastic handles in his fist tighter.

  They walked together until they found a nice spot to settle down. They'd chosen a shady area underneath a huge tree, with gnarly roots diving into the ground. Spencer sat himself comfortably in between two of the roots, leaning against the tree, giggling as he pretended to use the rather bizarre looking roots as armrests.

  Brendon, touchy-feely Brendon, who always felt the need to be touching or leaning into someone, rested his head in Spencer's lap, looking up to flash him a grin. He set the bag of sandwiches between his legs, untying the knot he'd made in the handles.

  "I made a couple of different kinds, but there's only two of each, so pick your poison," he said as he plainly picked out a peanut-butter nutella one for himself, taking a bite into the tasty goodness that was indeed his favorite kind of sandwich.

  Spencer laughed softly, and a warm feeling curled around Brendon's heart. He felt Spencer's arms move over him, around him, to grab a sandwich out of the bag. Brendon lifted it up so that it was easier in his reach, their fingertips brushing together. Obviously, Spencer didn't feel a thing, unlike Brendon, who snatched his hand away as soon as he had the bag, feeling like he was just shocked by a wire or something. There went his plan of wooing him today.

  They ate together, taking more and more sandwiches until most of them were gone, a measly three left, sitting there. Brendon was thinking, thinking maybe now could be the time to suck it up to Spencer.

  "Spence?" He said timidly, fiddling with his shirt awkwardly.

  "Yeah, Bren?"

  "I really like..." He took a deep breath, looking up at him. Spencer was looking right back down at him, some kind of expression he couldn't read formed on his face. It intimidated him. He couldn't do this now, no, definitely not now. "Your shoes, they're great. Where'd you get them?" Brendon said quickly, to cover up his mess.

  "Huh?" The look on Spencer's face disappeared, replaced by confusion. "Oh, these are Ryan's, actually. I stole them when I was over at his place a couple of nights ago and just never bothered to give them back."

  Brendon felt a strange new feeling form inside his chest, tight and constricting. It was a possessive feeling, he discovered only shortly after he felt it. He didn't want Spencer to be borrowing Ryan's things. Spencer should be borrowing _his_ things, taking _his_ shirts and _his_ shoes, smiling embarrassedly when Brendon would point it out, going to take it off. 

  And then he would stop him, tell him no, no, it's okay, that he could keep it if he wanted to. And he would smile wider, thanking Brendon, slowly 'borrowing' more and more stuff before Brendon actually started to need it.

  Spencer would claim that he wanted to be able to have something of his for the nights he wasn't with him, not mentioning the fact that he slept with it clutched to his chest tightly, breathing in Brendon's scent.

  "Brendon?" Spencer spoke up, voice hinted with worry.

  "What?"

  "You were quiet for a moment. I got a little worried."

  "Oh, yeah! I'm great, man, sorry," he smiled, holding up a fist. Spencer bumped his fist back into it, and they shared a laugh.

  The next day wasn't much better. He'd gone out to eat with Spencer, all smiles and chit-chat, and when he thought the right moment to declare his love, he got choked up, instead choosing to recover with yet another remark about the pretty lamps they had hanging from the ceiling of the restaurant.

  And the next. They went bowling, and jogging, they made a cake together, they practiced their songs, and every. Single. Time. Brendon messed up. Like usual, he'd save himself with a witty comment, compliment, or complaint, always earning the same strange look he'd gotten from Spencer on the first day.

  Brendon sighed out of irritation, rubbing his head. He gave himself a few days away from 'Dates with Spencer' to cool down. Now he had him over for a movie, although the poor guy had fallen asleep on the couch.

  He eyed him cautiously, though a smile tugged at his lips. Spencer's head was resting against his thigh, and he dared not to ruffle his hair. He shifted awkwardly to reach for his laptop as not to wake his drummer, despite the sleepiness that was beginning to settle in.

  He opened it, turning up the brightness as it logged in. Brendon clicked on his browser, reopening his previous tabs. One of them was the gossip site he'd been on that first night. Chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully, Brendon clicked the tab, signing back into his account and going to check on his forum post. It was dead by now, for the most part, although it had still gained quite a lot more comments.

  Yawning, he decided to make another post. With simply only the click of his mouse on the 'NEW FORUM POST' button, he began typing, pouring his caged-up feelings into the tiny text box. Even if it only took him a few minutes, he felt like he'd been typing for hours.

  All Brendon knew before he fell asleep was that he hit post. He didn't know he left his laptop up and running.

  Around ten minutes later, Spencer sat up from his place on the couch, rubbing his eyes with his fists after he stretched, yawning. He smiled dumbly when he saw Brendon asleep next to him, the word 'cute' popping into his head. His blue gaze averted to the bright screen that was their only light source in the darkened room, raising his brows curiously.

  He leaned forward, reaching for the power button so that it wouldn't die on Brendon in the middle of the night, but words, lots and lots of words, captured his attention. Spencer blinked, beginning to read the post.

  _Hey, guys. It's little lover boy again._

_I still haven't been able to confess, although I've been trying really, really hard to. It just seems that every time I try to tell him, every time I want to take his hand and kiss him, I just get too scared. Too afraid. I really want to tell him, too, he's just so perfect and, like…_

_Every time he talks my heart flutters, and I think that I kind of want to stare into his eyes for hours. Maybe that sounds a little creepy, but if you saw them, you would want to as well. All I wanna do is make him laugh and smile, and be his and have him be mine and ugh, it's so hard when things get like this. I'm sure some of you out there are in the same god damned depressing situation as me, experiencing the very fucking annoying frustration that is the inability to confess your years worth of undying love._

_It's funny, because he's actually right here with me, right now. He's asleep, though, poor guy must be real tired. Man, he looks so fucking adorable and I want to kiss him so bad._

_Maybe someday. Just not now._

  Spencer cupped a hand over his mouth, feeling how hot his cheeks were. They must be bright red, but obviously he couldn't tell.

  He scoured for a piece of paper and a pen, yanking a grocery receipt out of his back pocket, searching desperately for the other missing item. He sent a quick glance to Brendon, making sure he was still asleep, before getting up, turning his phones flashlight on. He found a pen on the table beside the door, pressing the receipt against the wall to scribble down a few words onto it.

  Spencer returned to the couch, tucking the bottom of the paper in between the laptop keys so that it stood, leaning against its screen.

  As he returned to the couch he hesitantly, but not regrettably, he brushed his lips against Brendon's softly, smiling to himself. He curled back up next to him, feeling like a weight had suddenly been lifted off of his shoulders.

 

 

  Brendon woke up the next morning. His memory came back to him quickly. Spencer was over for a movie, but he fell asleep. Was he still here? He looked to his side, nodding yes. He was still here. After he fell asleep, Brendon typed up a post, then fell asleep himself, right.

  He cast a glance at his laptop, a small piece of paper held against the screen catching his eye. He reached out and grabbed it, holding it up to his face to read it. Seven words were scrawled out on it, he noted as he recognized Spencer's neat yet rushed handwriting.

  _I like you too, you big dummy._

**Author's Note:**

> tysm to captainbrendon for beta'ing this for me!!! please tell me what you guys think omg xoxo


End file.
